Barbara's bad jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the offer side

Your mamas so fat she drives a monster truck

Your mamas so fat she just fat

Who made light cave men

Your mamas so old she has a iPhone 6 plus ps that is not a type o

Let I Barbara let It Jenkins

Henry the 8 thought he had Adidas shoes but he had Nike shoes

Barbara Jenkins tips on PAC man

Step1 get the game
Step 2 try not to get to got by the ghosts
Step3 get all the power ups
Step4 try not to rage quit
Step5 get the cherries
Step6 how long can you survive for ???????????

Barbara is the new drama teacher

As Barbara has been the lunch lady she was the drama lady and they where doing Romeo and Juilet


Helena)two family's who hate each over so much fight endlessly with knifes and pie  but mostly
Romeo and juilet

Romeo) I keep on getting texts from tybalt  on instergram and Facebook saying I have the iPhone 6 plus you just have the 6

Juilet) tis a shame Romeo he's my neighbour and he's always shoots fireworks at midnight and he always dumps people he even dumped Tyler swift !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tybalt ) turn thee Romeo I will kill you with my wreaking ball

Romeo) let's fight

Tybalt) let me have some Oreos first

Romeo) k

Tybalt ) let's fight

Juilet) Romeo you have killed him

Romeo) yes yes I dump you goodbye

Barbara Jenkins buys new house

It was a fine day a Barbara was in her 3 room house not 3 bedroom house a house with 3 rooms Barbara liked to call it her castle she went ton to her iPad onto rightmove and saw this house 4 sail I had had 5 bedrooms and it was 800.000 saw Barbara robbed the bank then she bought it when she was looking round she saw this homeless guy so she kicked him out of her house then she went to bed the next day she went to some shops and bought some furniture mostly from the 99p store then she put it down It looked quite nice so she invited her dad over as she blew up her mum.

The end

Barbara Jenkins quiz

Put all the the right answers in the comments

Question 1 what is Barbara's favourite food
Question 2 who many Barbara's tip on book has she done
Question 3 dose Barbara have a diary
Question 4 what BMW dose Barbara have
Question 5 did Barbara blow up her mum
Question 6 dose Barbara like or hate mr grumpy
Question 7 has Barbara ever had a match against mr grumpy
Question 8 is Barbara married
Question 9 dose she have children
Question 10 who many car dose Barbara have

Thank you for all the views on Barbara Jenkins to make it what it is today

Barbara Jenkins meets Tyler swift

One day Barbara was In shopping in America and there she saw Tyler swift Tyler asked do you want to cam to my mansion not just a house a mansion so Barbara went the bathroom was bigger than her house! The butler came and asked what do you want and Barbara had her favourite food apple crumble with a cup of tea then Barbara's boyfriend came and said who is she Tyler got really upset and dumped him then the man said thanks for dumping me now I will be in one of your songs !!!!!

The end

Barbara tips on crossey road

Step1 buy the game it's free
Step2 tap to go
Step3 press the box for money then buy a toy
Step4 try and get 50
Step5 it very hard
Step6 try and beat Barbara's 250

Barbara is the new school lunch lady

We'll one day Barbara saw lunch lady help in the news paper so she went right there the school was called blank space what Barbara thought it was quite funny bit then she saw the head master and his name was Henry just like the book just Henry that was Barbara's favourite book it was lunch time so Barbara but on her kiss the cook aprrion and gave the children there food so of the children where super fat like 500 pounders and some where very small so Barbara gave the fat kids a lot and the small kids not as much but then one of the fat kids came up and said let's fight Barbara has never fought a big chap but guess what happens she broke his arm then the head master cam in and said your fried

    The end

Barbara and Barry scoot marry

It was Barbara wedding she was looking so pretty in her second hand 99p dress from eBay and Barry was looking so nice in his £600 suit Barry came in first then Barbara came in everyone looked at her as she was smoking but Barry was didn't care then the man said do you take this man to be you husbound Barbara said yes and then he said do you take this woman to be your wife Barry said yes they where married they came off listen to blank space by Tyler swift


  The end

Barbara Jenkins goes to BMW

One day Barbara was listen to Justin's beibers song at full volume and crashed her car just like he did so Barbara decided to get a different type of car so she went to BMW she looked at all the car liked some didn't like some she even tried to steal some but then she found a limited time only car and it was a Dora the explorer car !!!!! Barbara was so happy when she got home she watched Dora the explorer

      The end

Barbara's tips on clash of clans

We'll hello everyone we are back fair Barbara's tips so let's get started
Step1 buy a clan castle level 5
Step2 get level 5 walls
Step 3 get a load of the best cannons
Step4 get a level 10 town hall
Step5 get level 4 x bows to kill the bad guys
Step6 buy everything you can and getting east level of everything
Step7 get some troops training to kill
Step8 get the best troops
Step9 clear all the plants
Step10 become the best in the world

You will need £10000000000000 pound of gems to be it
And that's all for Barbara's tips goodbye

Barbara's gets a job

One day Barbara thought I might get a job so she went to the f1 racetrack and asked if I could race and the man said yes but you have to go to racing school but guess who was there mr grumpy! The man said Barbara had to race him on the track Barbra was about to get in her car but she got downgraded to a ford what only goes 30mp and mr grumpy got a Bentley but they were of Barbara was last but she got back on track but then she saw a switch what got guns out so she pressed it and guns came out and the was know a James bound car so she over took mr grumpy and finished first but she put down a land mine a pond mr grumpy stepped on it and blew up after Louis Hamilton came and said you can work here but Barbara said no thanks and went home
          The end 

Barbara buys a pet

One day Barbara decided to buy a pet so she went to the local pet shop called kill a pet what a horrible name the guy at the counter had a butchers knife he really scared Barbara but Barbara still looked around and she ended up buying a scorpion it was 10000000000 feet tall so Barbara bought a house for it to live in. One day when Barbara checked on it it was not there it was in the city walking over buildings so Barbara had to do something se changed in to her superman costume and went after the scorpion Barbara knocked it out with her scorpion blaster from eBay it was a bargain £3.99 then she gave it Tyler swift has a present but Tyler gave it to Justin bebier    

                            The end

Barbara's selfie fail

Barbara looking ready to go out 

Barbara's guide to minecraft

Hey guys it's Barbara and I've just went to game and bought minecraft so here's so tips on who to be good at minecraft

Step1kill 3 sheep and chop down trees to make wood then get a crafting table
Step2 make a house
Step3 whatch out for the green things they are scary and they blow up

Step4 go to the beach and get a tan 

Step5 go mining tip bring wood down

Step6 go to the Nether 

Step7 beat the endear dragon 

Step8 make tools 

Step9 make a water slide 

Step10 don't know enough 

That's who you play minecraft 

Joke time with Barbara

This is the joke posts we will have 5 a day so let's get started

What is the easiest way to get on the TV?sit on the set 
What the best way to pass a geometry exam?know all the angles 
What goes up and never comes? Your age 
What is the best definition for a slug?its a naked snail
Who invented fire a bright spark

Barbara's cook book

Hello this is Barbara's cook book so let's start making first we are going to make apple crumble

Step1 listen to the crumble song at volume 200
Step2 you will need flour apple blender and a cool cooking hat
Step3 blend the apple for 10 seconds then put it in a bowl
Step4 make the dough into crumble the add sugar
Step 5 put the apple in to the crumble
Step6 eat it try not to be sick

Chocolate bars
Step1get your melted chocolate
Step2 freze the melted chocolate and add some sweets to it
Step3 eat it try not to be sick

Barbara goes on holiday part 4

We'll after Barbara getting drunk and stuff she had to leave but before she left she wanted to jump of lady libortie do that's what she did she jumped off it on to her plane then see went home

Hope you guys enjoyed Barbara goes on holiday vote out off ten in the comments 

BARBARA GOES TO THE SHOP

"LET'S GO TO THE SHOP!" SAID BARBARAS MUM.
"WHAT FOR?" ASKED BARBARA.
"TO GET YOU SOME CLOTHES FOR SCHOOL," REPLIED BARBARAS MOTHER.
"N-O SPELLS NO!" SHOUTED BARBARA.
"WHY NOT!" ASKED BARBARA MOTHER NAVE.
"BECAUSE I KNOW WE WILL BE GOING TO GO TO PRIMARK, YOUR FAVOURITE SHOP, THEY SELL CLOTHES THAT ARE MADE IN CHINA" LAUGHED BARBARA.
"YER AND!" RETORTED NAVE.
          SO THEY HOPPED IN TO THE SUPER CHARGED BUGATTI. THEN DROVE OF AT TWICE THE SPEED OF SOUND BUT A CAR PULLED OUT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THEY HAD TOP STOP FAST. LUCKELY THANKS TO THEIR PEUGEOT BAKES THEY STOPPED IN TIME. ONCE THEY GOT TO PRIMARK IT WAS SHUT!

Barbara goes on holiday part 3

We'll after Barbara being In prison she decided to have a calm holiday so tonight she's going out to party but it's the. Morning but any way lets get to the story
Barbara first had some breakfast the. Went to the pool after she went to build a bear workshop she saw this golden bear which she could not afford it so she robbed it and she robbed a dress as well after she went back to the hotel  and got ready for going out tonight when she got there a lot of people where drunk so Barbara stared partying with her age group the 80 year olds they got a 10 massive bottles of thatchers gold Barbara loved thatchers arter they where very drunk as they where drunk they go on a water slide and went flying Barbara manged to land in her hotel pool.
                                                                     The end

Monday joke time

Your Mamma so ugly that when they joined the ugly contest they said sorry no professionals 

Your mamma so ugly her husbound takes her to work every day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye 

Your mamma so fat she's a trampoline 

BARBARAS TRIP TO BREAKFST

It was Sunday and Barbara was planning to meet barry and his family at Frankie and Bennies for breakfast. So she got into her super charged Bugatti and went zooming down the road, they were there in 5 seconds. Then they went into the restaurant, they went and sat down by the window and waited for barry and his family. 

After about five minuets Barry plus his mum and dad arrived and sat down next to us and then we ordered some teas and coffees. The waiter was very very plump and told us that his name was mark king (funny name thought Barbara). The waiter went off to make our drinks, after about 30 minuets he came rushing towards us with a tray of drinks in his hand but he tripped over and there was a massive crash and he fell over and the drinks went flying. 

When the waiter had got up of the floor he said he was sorry and would go and make them more but Barbara said that it was unacceptable to wait half an hour for a cup of hot drink. Then the waiter said that the drinks would have been brilliant. Then Barbara retorted with they might have been but if you hadn’t noticed they are now all over the floor. “Out!” shouted Mark King, “just out!!!!”. So Barbara and Barry’s  families left without having any breakfast, poor them. 

Don’t forget to tell your friends about this!!!!!

FRIDAYS JOKE!

TODAYS JOKE

Q.  WHY DID THE SPY CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD????!!!?!?!?!?!

A.  BECAUSE HE WAS A DOUBLE CROSSER!!!! 

Barbara goes on holiday part 2

Barbara Jenkins Is at the airport so let's get in to the story arter Barbara got all her bags she went to get a cab  but Barbara forgot to get a hotel so she slept on the streets at about 12 at night this homeless guy went up to her and said let's go rob some shops Barbara said ok after they robbed all the shops the police came and arrested Barbara and the homeless man when Barbara got to the prison. She thought she had to get out do Barbara did what she did best she blowed it up. After Barbara made a run for it then Barbara got to a really nice hotel so she bayed to go their for the rest of the time she was in USA then she went to her room and checked her list to do 

1do everything

That's ever ting she planned .

                                            The end

FRIDAYS JOKE

FRIDAYS JOKE

YO MOMMA IS SO FAT, I TOOK A PICTURE OF HER LAST CHRISTMAS AND IT'S STILL PRINTING!

WHEN MY MOMMA GOT ON THE SCALES A THOUGHT IT SHOWED HER PHONE NUMBER NOT HER WAIT IN KG!

Barbara Jenkins goes on holiday part 1

One day Barbara went to bet Fred to bet and she won a holiday to USA. So she went to home to pack she packed Barbara Jennings her cat her dress's shoes and a lot more. A can't say them all as she has a lot. After she packed she went Barbara air lines (it's quite odd who every thing is called Barbara like Barbara town Barbara shop)any why let get on when she was at the airport she got a KFC Barbara really like KFC that why her mum is called fat nav after that she went on  the plane Barbara was sitting in 1 class set but she was  by this couple who kept on kissing each other so for who ever long it takes to get the that's who long they kissed for when Barbara was on the plane she played a lot of destiny and some more I think she's level 32 now. After that the food lady came roux it looked like she liked food with the size off her but than Barbara saw it was her mum but Barbara call her honey bunch and Barbara's mum call her lovey so in the school playground she would say lovey lovey get here. Finally they landed .

                                       That's the end of part 1

Joke of Wednesday with Barbara Jenkins

What day of the week do monsters eat people???
                              Chewsday!
  
Join us on Friday when we will do one

Barbara Jenkins and Barry scoot vs Mr grumpy and bill gates

It was a warm day we'll sort of a warm day yep just a warm why have a just wrote and a whole line a warm day. Now let's get started 
It was a fine day just like a said Barbara and Barry scoot where going out for tea but then Mr grumpy Barbara's teacher saw her with bill gates out off all the people it was bill gates. Mr grumpy came up and said let's have a fight so that's what they did


      THE FIGHT BIT
The fight was on it was Barbara Barry vs mr grumpy and bill gates at first mr grumpy got Barbara in to a head lock but with Barbara's super strength she AA him in to a table. But then bill gates runny nead Barbara but then Barry scoot in to a 619 then pinned him 123 Barbara and Barry won 

This book can't be done again are you will pay £ 1000000000000000000000000021

BARBARA JENKINS BOOKS COMING

BARBARA JENKINS BOOKS COMING:

• BARBARAS TIPS ON COOKING.
• BARBARA GOES TO SCHOOL. (FIRST EDITION)
• BARBARA GOES ON A SCHOOL TRIP.
• BARBARAS CHRISTMAS.
• BARBARAS COOK BOOK

WILL ALSO BE MORE!

JOKES ON THE FOLLOWING DAYS:

• MONDAY
• WEDNESDAY
• FRIDAY
• IF NOT ON ANY OF THESE DAYS PROBABLY ON HOLIDAY!

A look at Barbara's diary

Dear diary I'm so in love with this guy could Barry scot he's so ugly and fat he has spots all around his face all the girls say he's horrible but I think he is cute. the bad thing is he likes Taylor swift but good luck with getting her she just dumps everyone. Guess who my best friend likes Justin bieber but I really like Barry scot so tmw I'm going to ask him.

  

              The next day

Dear diary I just asked Barry scot and he said I will think about it I guess he still like Taylor swift I said I know her phone number so I told him it but it's my phone number.He's calling now let's see if this goes good. I'm back he's going to meet me at a food place, 

  

            The next day 

We are now going to food place I'm going to wear a blond wig and dump him as Taylor swift as she dump every one then say it's me and kiss him guys I'm back and he loves me.

That's Barry scoot he's sooooo cute 

Barbara Jenkins goes to school

Barbara Jenkins was finally older enough to go to school so she did so she went in her super charged

Bugatti Veyron she got to school in 2 seconds when she got there she put her bag up and went to class the first subject was science they where given some bottles with things in them Barbara mixed them all up and it blow up (I guess Barbara likes blowing things up)the teacher mr grumpy shouted Barbara in a French accent he liked to smoke things so the room smelt like smoke any way lets get back on to the story Barbara said yes that made mr grumpy even more grumpy so he sent her to detention bar thought he said go to the bar because of his French accent so she just drove but mr grumpy to In is 50mp car and tried to chase her but Barbara was to fast. Barbara thought she could throw her KFC at him so she started to throw it at him then see throw some hot sauce and the car went flying in to the air and went back down at 100000000000000000000mp so after that Barbara was kicked out of the school.

                                                        THE END

Barbara Jenkins is born

It was a fine day Barbara's mum fat nav I know but she is fat was going to have a baby called Barbara Jenkins when Barbara came out fat nav blow up. So Barbara did not have a mum or a dad but see did not care at all she just walked around doing whatever she wanted she even blow up her mum again 

                                                               THE END